A nice song

this song was introduces to me by a friend of mine
when i'm feeling down after i got my stpm result
it's a very nice song
helps to lift my spirit a bit
can't say it's a miracle healer
but the lyrics gave some hope
hearing this song makes me believe that
i just might make it through
i just hope that i'm really this strong
sometimes all u need is
a wonderful song and a hug from someone u love
but i'll just have to make do with the 1st one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsIqcyGrgR4
(sadly i don't know how to put the video from youtube)

Thursday

i feel very depressed now..very~
today i took a day leave from work to visits some private Uni along with wei han
hoping that somehow my result will be accepted
first stop~! Metropolitan~!!
was kinda scared as i have to go in alone
cos wei han can't find a parking spot
so in i go.. was feeling smart as i walk pass the hall...
feel like i'm a real Uni student
walk into the counselor's office and filled in some form
then came the counselor...she was kind and we speak casually
until she ask me about my result
there is no way to make it seem better
and what she told me was
'sorry dear but we can't accept you into our degree course'
it was kinda expected and i think to myself
'hey! there's still a few others down the street'
so on to the next college,Segi college
the first impression i got from there was.. it's easier to find parking
but the lift was crappy...
the counselor was as always..friendly
but this time i was given a hope
i was told that i can study degree in business with my result!!
i was starting to believe there was hope for me
the fees can be paid with the help of ptptn
i can see my problems solved
for the next 2 stops i was too happy to focus
but i knew that somewhere along the conversation
they were saying 'sorry but i'm afraid...'
i gave no shit to them as i happily went home
happy moments doesn't seem to last
when i told my mom about my 'achievements'
she told me not to get loan
she'll use my life savings to get me through
i was like wtf
why?! we can get loan...
using her lifetime saving is like saying
'i'm betting my everything on you son'
i can feel a tremendous pressure on my shoulders
haihz... that is what you get when u fail a major exam
no more fun,careless high school times...
life's a bitch~

STPM part 2

in about 15 minutes we're there...
sitting down talking to wai hung and the others
about how scary we felt
and how we wish our result was
after a very long speech (argh~)
we started to line up to get our result
i gotta admit at that time i felt really nervous but a little happy
when i got the envelope ying see snatch it from me
wanting to know how did i do
don feel like opening it but i knew i had to
so in the end i went to the corner with wai hung and opened it
the result left me motionless
i don't know how to respond
all i know is i don't wanna stay there any longer
went to my car,started the engine
and tears started to flow out
sad is not even close enough to describe how i felt
called mummy, cried even more when heard her voice
must be disappointing
so i suck it up and drove home,withour chi han this time
cos i know i was not stable

and true enough i don't remember the journey home
the only thing i remember was a silver Audi A4(the new one)
and the urge to steer towards it... ramming it hard
then i remembered.. i'm driving my dad's mini...

finally reached home...saw my mom... said sorry...
and more crying..
the whole day was a blur...
and the day after that i felt like i lost something
like i don't want to do anything else... i felt lost
and the best part is my dad's coming back from work that day
not knowing what to expect.. i was once again scared...

dad came back around 8p.m
he didn't say anything... he just smiled at me and said it's ok
tears rolled down again... i wasn't expecting this
i'm sure they expect me to be a Uni student
dad ask me to check out the local college
see which course i want to take
i made a silent vow..
i'm gonna do it right this time

STPM part 1

After knowing that the STPM result is coming out on the 25th Feb
i cant sleep well for that few nights
on the night before,it's even worst...
i was so scared and nervous that i had a fever
so i took off from work early and went home...
the whole journey home was a torture
the whole train was packed with ppl with stinky armpit
showing their 'amazon forest'
fuck!
assholes kept pushing and pushing
and i felt like i'm gonna throw up anytime

after some 45 minutes i'm finally out of that place
fever getting worst so i went to the doctor after dinner
came home,eat medicine and tatz it 4 the night

the next morning i was planning to wake up later
but i couldn't fall asleep after that
so i gave up and tidied my bed
went down for breakfast....
2 pieces of bread was all i can handle..
and more and i swear i'll puke

getting nervous as i watch the clock...
12 o'clock the result coming out (according to wai yuen)
it's only 9...
so i decided to wash my mini~!!
to get my mind off
wash wash wash
b4 i knew it it's 11-ish
so i went upstairs,cleaned up and off i go
first stop i need to fetch chi han
then off we go
along the journey we were saying how nervous we are
and he was like 'why r u driving so fast?! cannot wait is it?'
i was so nervous that i can't let go of the gas paddle

The Lost Of a Legend

26th June 2009
it is a sad day for all as it is the death of Michael Jackson
The King of Pop....
it is truly a lost to the world
but his songs will last forever
deep within our hearts
RIP King of Pop

Thursday

sadness and frustration filled my heart
yet another quarrel between my parents
but this time it is not the same quarrel as last time
it is not a quarrel that can be settled over dinner
with a bunch of jokes
no... this time it's something different
this time it's a cold war between two person
both refusing to talk to each other
leaving my sister and i to send their message
it doesn't feel nice
i wonder when will it end...
returning to the old joking family
haihz... no mood ald...

Sunday

YEAR
2009
it's here already....
school's gonna reopen tomorrow...
it's gonna be a very busy year
damn it...
it's all gonna be study,tuition and more study and then more tuition...
hope that this year i will be more serious towards my studies...
cos STPM this year...
study for one and a half year already...
if i didn't get a good result....
then i'll be wasting my time all this time...
but i hope that this year will be better than last year....
cos there's quite a lot of unhappy stuff happened last year
looking back now...
i think we all have grown a lot
learned a lot
experience a lot
i guess that's life...
we learn, experience and then...
WE GROW...