Friday

rejection have always followed me whenever i liked a girl
and the last time i confessed my love a year ago was no exception
depression took over me as i suffer from yet another rejection...
it was longer than i expected...
a year has passed and yet i am still within it's shadow
i gave up in trying for love
until i met you..
you were just another friend's friend whom i saw at tuition...
u look ordinary and yet extraordinary...
didn't have much feeling for you until recently
a fool i was to think that i can get to know you better
is it an act of stupidity or plain innocent?
just when i thought i might have picked up the pieces of me
from my previous heartbreak
u came and shattered my heart...
two blows in two years...
i'm lucky that i survived...
maybe it was all my fault...
to believe that we must be brave when facing the one you love...
i took up the courage to walk over to you
the feeling of excitement and nervous
that i always read from books or novel
and that i had once felt... it felt good, to be honest...
and there i was standing in front of you...
staring at you and you staring back...
with my heart racing so so fast
i ask for the chance to know you
and was rejected by you politely...
as polite as it may seem i kept calm and said goodbye
but deep down inside...
i felt the sudden stop of heartbeat when u rejected
it felt weird cos i never believed all these emotions
when i read in books... ironic...
as it happened to me.. the whole trip home... i was spacing out...
unsure to be shocked? sad? or regret for my sudden act of so called 'bravery'?
.................................