Tuesday

it's time to choose
to give up or to keep on with this feeling
love is a double-edge knife
it's the reason for the happiness
but also the reason for the sadness
there was a short moment in time where i felt the happiness
but unfortunately,
it is still just a moment
and because it is a moment which i cherish
it is hard for me to let go
letting go doesn't mean that my feeling for you has gone
because i know that by letting go
i'm actually doing what's best for you
you wish to be just a normal friend
while i want something more
this kind of relationship will only ruin us
maybe letting go is for the best

Sunday

was thinking of you again...
i've know known you for less than a year
and your already making yourself cozy at the back of my mind
i find myself thinking of your smile whenever i'm down
and looking at your photo just make my day
you told me to give up on you
but it's not that easy to let go
not that it was ever within my grasp for that matter
it is something that i wish for everyday
that someday i'll be in the same photo as you

there was a short period of time
when we talk on the phone till early morning
that was the best time ever
i've never felt that way
i've never felt so close with someone i had a crush on
it was a feeling that is still lingering in my mind
and i wish for those day to come again...
to come and never leave

A nice song

this song was introduces to me by a friend of mine
when i'm feeling down after i got my stpm result
it's a very nice song
helps to lift my spirit a bit
can't say it's a miracle healer
but the lyrics gave some hope
hearing this song makes me believe that
i just might make it through
i just hope that i'm really this strong
sometimes all u need is
a wonderful song and a hug from someone u love
but i'll just have to make do with the 1st one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsIqcyGrgR4
(sadly i don't know how to put the video from youtube)

Thursday

i feel very depressed now..very~
today i took a day leave from work to visits some private Uni along with wei han
hoping that somehow my result will be accepted
first stop~! Metropolitan~!!
was kinda scared as i have to go in alone
cos wei han can't find a parking spot
so in i go.. was feeling smart as i walk pass the hall...
feel like i'm a real Uni student
walk into the counselor's office and filled in some form
then came the counselor...she was kind and we speak casually
until she ask me about my result
there is no way to make it seem better
and what she told me was
'sorry dear but we can't accept you into our degree course'
it was kinda expected and i think to myself
'hey! there's still a few others down the street'
so on to the next college,Segi college
the first impression i got from there was.. it's easier to find parking
but the lift was crappy...
the counselor was as always..friendly
but this time i was given a hope
i was told that i can study degree in business with my result!!
i was starting to believe there was hope for me
the fees can be paid with the help of ptptn
i can see my problems solved
for the next 2 stops i was too happy to focus
but i knew that somewhere along the conversation
they were saying 'sorry but i'm afraid...'
i gave no shit to them as i happily went home
happy moments doesn't seem to last
when i told my mom about my 'achievements'
she told me not to get loan
she'll use my life savings to get me through
i was like wtf
why?! we can get loan...
using her lifetime saving is like saying
'i'm betting my everything on you son'
i can feel a tremendous pressure on my shoulders
haihz... that is what you get when u fail a major exam
no more fun,careless high school times...
life's a bitch~