Saturday

today is a very very sad day for me
because today is the day i'll be driving my dear mini cooper for the last time
haihz..gonna sell it off ald~
she's the 1st car that i drove after i got me license
at 1st complain that the steering wheel is fucking hard and all
then as the time goes by,
i became used to it
used to be very very careful with it
cos scare i'll scratch my babe
but as i drove it for the last time
i couldn't care less
i rev my heart out
i put the petal to the metal
and for the last time,i listen to the sweet engine sound
i think my dear car would be happy too
that for the last time i actually drove her in a 'wild' way
so this is a post to my dear mini cooper
which i parted with an hour ago
19/06/2010
the day you and i go on separate ways
i will miss you
cos your the very 1st car that i've driven
those sweet sweet memories will always be in my mind

Wednesday

it's ald 12+am and yet i'm wide awake
was sleeping soundly until got a call
a call abt comeone complaining me
apparently i made the girl felt uncomfortable
what? i'm a stalker now?
but i might as well be after that call
thinking back,
i was just simply asking some general questions
general as in not about her personal stuff
and yet she feels uncomfortable
yeah,maybe being single over the past 20 years have made me
desperate eventhough i doubt it sometimes
but i guess actions speaks louder than words
and apparently my actions seems like i'm hitting on her i guess
but the thing i don't get it is
if she felt uncomfortable,
why didn't she tell me when she was chatting with me
to save me from embarrassment?
well..tat certainly helped now tat u've told a few other ppl
thanks mate~

A New Friend

Recently meet a new friend
she's very friendly,bubbly and pretty
not to mention quite talkative too~
her name is Lau Jia Hui
some girl which i saw during my days in tuition
but only got the guts to know her via facebook
what shock me the most is that she is so f$#^-ing friendly,
that we can chat almost instantly about almost everything
a truly good friend
tho i wonder how long will this friendship last
it's only been less than a month since we meet
and i already caused tons of trouble for her
trouble from her bf,
warning her not to sms with me too much
and i too got a warning from a friend of her
a warning not to sms her again
kinda difficult to be friend with her
but i'm happy that i am a friend of her
she's damn funny sometimes,
especially when she's blur
i know some of her friends might read my post
but i don give a shit
she's a good friend and if they can't accept it
then so be it
it's not like i'm 'hitting' on her or something
wohoo~!!!
-peace out ya'll-

Rejection

People always say the first time is always the hardest
but what about the second? the third? or maybe the fourth?
Rejection is never an easy thing to deal with
no matter how much rejection you've faced before
it is always something that hurts
deep within your heart

Loving someone is easy
but loving someone who doesn't love you is no easy job
those they might try different words or sentence
to decline your feeling
not even the most gentle words or expression will help

Nobody is at fault
not the one loving nor the one being loved
there is no right or wrong in Love
there is only the feeling,the time and the place
only when there's feeling at the right moment and at the right place
will Love blossom
that is the nature of Love

Tuesday

it's time to choose
to give up or to keep on with this feeling
love is a double-edge knife
it's the reason for the happiness
but also the reason for the sadness
there was a short moment in time where i felt the happiness
but unfortunately,
it is still just a moment
and because it is a moment which i cherish
it is hard for me to let go
letting go doesn't mean that my feeling for you has gone
because i know that by letting go
i'm actually doing what's best for you
you wish to be just a normal friend
while i want something more
this kind of relationship will only ruin us
maybe letting go is for the best

Sunday

was thinking of you again...
i've know known you for less than a year
and your already making yourself cozy at the back of my mind
i find myself thinking of your smile whenever i'm down
and looking at your photo just make my day
you told me to give up on you
but it's not that easy to let go
not that it was ever within my grasp for that matter
it is something that i wish for everyday
that someday i'll be in the same photo as you

there was a short period of time
when we talk on the phone till early morning
that was the best time ever
i've never felt that way
i've never felt so close with someone i had a crush on
it was a feeling that is still lingering in my mind
and i wish for those day to come again...
to come and never leave

A nice song

this song was introduces to me by a friend of mine
when i'm feeling down after i got my stpm result
it's a very nice song
helps to lift my spirit a bit
can't say it's a miracle healer
but the lyrics gave some hope
hearing this song makes me believe that
i just might make it through
i just hope that i'm really this strong
sometimes all u need is
a wonderful song and a hug from someone u love
but i'll just have to make do with the 1st one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsIqcyGrgR4
(sadly i don't know how to put the video from youtube)

Thursday

i feel very depressed now..very~
today i took a day leave from work to visits some private Uni along with wei han
hoping that somehow my result will be accepted
first stop~! Metropolitan~!!
was kinda scared as i have to go in alone
cos wei han can't find a parking spot
so in i go.. was feeling smart as i walk pass the hall...
feel like i'm a real Uni student
walk into the counselor's office and filled in some form
then came the counselor...she was kind and we speak casually
until she ask me about my result
there is no way to make it seem better
and what she told me was
'sorry dear but we can't accept you into our degree course'
it was kinda expected and i think to myself
'hey! there's still a few others down the street'
so on to the next college,Segi college
the first impression i got from there was.. it's easier to find parking
but the lift was crappy...
the counselor was as always..friendly
but this time i was given a hope
i was told that i can study degree in business with my result!!
i was starting to believe there was hope for me
the fees can be paid with the help of ptptn
i can see my problems solved
for the next 2 stops i was too happy to focus
but i knew that somewhere along the conversation
they were saying 'sorry but i'm afraid...'
i gave no shit to them as i happily went home
happy moments doesn't seem to last
when i told my mom about my 'achievements'
she told me not to get loan
she'll use my life savings to get me through
i was like wtf
why?! we can get loan...
using her lifetime saving is like saying
'i'm betting my everything on you son'
i can feel a tremendous pressure on my shoulders
haihz... that is what you get when u fail a major exam
no more fun,careless high school times...
life's a bitch~

STPM part 2

in about 15 minutes we're there...
sitting down talking to wai hung and the others
about how scary we felt
and how we wish our result was
after a very long speech (argh~)
we started to line up to get our result
i gotta admit at that time i felt really nervous but a little happy
when i got the envelope ying see snatch it from me
wanting to know how did i do
don feel like opening it but i knew i had to
so in the end i went to the corner with wai hung and opened it
the result left me motionless
i don't know how to respond
all i know is i don't wanna stay there any longer
went to my car,started the engine
and tears started to flow out
sad is not even close enough to describe how i felt
called mummy, cried even more when heard her voice
must be disappointing
so i suck it up and drove home,withour chi han this time
cos i know i was not stable

and true enough i don't remember the journey home
the only thing i remember was a silver Audi A4(the new one)
and the urge to steer towards it... ramming it hard
then i remembered.. i'm driving my dad's mini...

finally reached home...saw my mom... said sorry...
and more crying..
the whole day was a blur...
and the day after that i felt like i lost something
like i don't want to do anything else... i felt lost
and the best part is my dad's coming back from work that day
not knowing what to expect.. i was once again scared...

dad came back around 8p.m
he didn't say anything... he just smiled at me and said it's ok
tears rolled down again... i wasn't expecting this
i'm sure they expect me to be a Uni student
dad ask me to check out the local college
see which course i want to take
i made a silent vow..
i'm gonna do it right this time

STPM part 1

After knowing that the STPM result is coming out on the 25th Feb
i cant sleep well for that few nights
on the night before,it's even worst...
i was so scared and nervous that i had a fever
so i took off from work early and went home...
the whole journey home was a torture
the whole train was packed with ppl with stinky armpit
showing their 'amazon forest'
fuck!
assholes kept pushing and pushing
and i felt like i'm gonna throw up anytime

after some 45 minutes i'm finally out of that place
fever getting worst so i went to the doctor after dinner
came home,eat medicine and tatz it 4 the night

the next morning i was planning to wake up later
but i couldn't fall asleep after that
so i gave up and tidied my bed
went down for breakfast....
2 pieces of bread was all i can handle..
and more and i swear i'll puke

getting nervous as i watch the clock...
12 o'clock the result coming out (according to wai yuen)
it's only 9...
so i decided to wash my mini~!!
to get my mind off
wash wash wash
b4 i knew it it's 11-ish
so i went upstairs,cleaned up and off i go
first stop i need to fetch chi han
then off we go
along the journey we were saying how nervous we are
and he was like 'why r u driving so fast?! cannot wait is it?'
i was so nervous that i can't let go of the gas paddle