Saturday

today is a very very sad day for me
because today is the day i'll be driving my dear mini cooper for the last time
haihz..gonna sell it off ald~
she's the 1st car that i drove after i got me license
at 1st complain that the steering wheel is fucking hard and all
then as the time goes by,
i became used to it
used to be very very careful with it
cos scare i'll scratch my babe
but as i drove it for the last time
i couldn't care less
i rev my heart out
i put the petal to the metal
and for the last time,i listen to the sweet engine sound
i think my dear car would be happy too
that for the last time i actually drove her in a 'wild' way
so this is a post to my dear mini cooper
which i parted with an hour ago
19/06/2010
the day you and i go on separate ways
i will miss you
cos your the very 1st car that i've driven
those sweet sweet memories will always be in my mind

Wednesday

it's ald 12+am and yet i'm wide awake
was sleeping soundly until got a call
a call abt comeone complaining me
apparently i made the girl felt uncomfortable
what? i'm a stalker now?
but i might as well be after that call
thinking back,
i was just simply asking some general questions
general as in not about her personal stuff
and yet she feels uncomfortable
yeah,maybe being single over the past 20 years have made me
desperate eventhough i doubt it sometimes
but i guess actions speaks louder than words
and apparently my actions seems like i'm hitting on her i guess
but the thing i don't get it is
if she felt uncomfortable,
why didn't she tell me when she was chatting with me
to save me from embarrassment?
well..tat certainly helped now tat u've told a few other ppl
thanks mate~

A New Friend

Recently meet a new friend
she's very friendly,bubbly and pretty
not to mention quite talkative too~
her name is Lau Jia Hui
some girl which i saw during my days in tuition
but only got the guts to know her via facebook
what shock me the most is that she is so f$#^-ing friendly,
that we can chat almost instantly about almost everything
a truly good friend
tho i wonder how long will this friendship last
it's only been less than a month since we meet
and i already caused tons of trouble for her
trouble from her bf,
warning her not to sms with me too much
and i too got a warning from a friend of her
a warning not to sms her again
kinda difficult to be friend with her
but i'm happy that i am a friend of her
she's damn funny sometimes,
especially when she's blur
i know some of her friends might read my post
but i don give a shit
she's a good friend and if they can't accept it
then so be it
it's not like i'm 'hitting' on her or something
wohoo~!!!
-peace out ya'll-

Rejection

People always say the first time is always the hardest
but what about the second? the third? or maybe the fourth?
Rejection is never an easy thing to deal with
no matter how much rejection you've faced before
it is always something that hurts
deep within your heart

Loving someone is easy
but loving someone who doesn't love you is no easy job
those they might try different words or sentence
to decline your feeling
not even the most gentle words or expression will help

Nobody is at fault
not the one loving nor the one being loved
there is no right or wrong in Love
there is only the feeling,the time and the place
only when there's feeling at the right moment and at the right place
will Love blossom
that is the nature of Love

Tuesday

it's time to choose
to give up or to keep on with this feeling
love is a double-edge knife
it's the reason for the happiness
but also the reason for the sadness
there was a short moment in time where i felt the happiness
but unfortunately,
it is still just a moment
and because it is a moment which i cherish
it is hard for me to let go
letting go doesn't mean that my feeling for you has gone
because i know that by letting go
i'm actually doing what's best for you
you wish to be just a normal friend
while i want something more
this kind of relationship will only ruin us
maybe letting go is for the best

Sunday

was thinking of you again...
i've know known you for less than a year
and your already making yourself cozy at the back of my mind
i find myself thinking of your smile whenever i'm down
and looking at your photo just make my day
you told me to give up on you
but it's not that easy to let go
not that it was ever within my grasp for that matter
it is something that i wish for everyday
that someday i'll be in the same photo as you

there was a short period of time
when we talk on the phone till early morning
that was the best time ever
i've never felt that way
i've never felt so close with someone i had a crush on
it was a feeling that is still lingering in my mind
and i wish for those day to come again...
to come and never leave

A nice song

this song was introduces to me by a friend of mine
when i'm feeling down after i got my stpm result
it's a very nice song
helps to lift my spirit a bit
can't say it's a miracle healer
but the lyrics gave some hope
hearing this song makes me believe that
i just might make it through
i just hope that i'm really this strong
sometimes all u need is
a wonderful song and a hug from someone u love
but i'll just have to make do with the 1st one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsIqcyGrgR4
(sadly i don't know how to put the video from youtube)

Thursday

i feel very depressed now..very~
today i took a day leave from work to visits some private Uni along with wei han
hoping that somehow my result will be accepted
first stop~! Metropolitan~!!
was kinda scared as i have to go in alone
cos wei han can't find a parking spot
so in i go.. was feeling smart as i walk pass the hall...
feel like i'm a real Uni student
walk into the counselor's office and filled in some form
then came the counselor...she was kind and we speak casually
until she ask me about my result
there is no way to make it seem better
and what she told me was
'sorry dear but we can't accept you into our degree course'
it was kinda expected and i think to myself
'hey! there's still a few others down the street'
so on to the next college,Segi college
the first impression i got from there was.. it's easier to find parking
but the lift was crappy...
the counselor was as always..friendly
but this time i was given a hope
i was told that i can study degree in business with my result!!
i was starting to believe there was hope for me
the fees can be paid with the help of ptptn
i can see my problems solved
for the next 2 stops i was too happy to focus
but i knew that somewhere along the conversation
they were saying 'sorry but i'm afraid...'
i gave no shit to them as i happily went home
happy moments doesn't seem to last
when i told my mom about my 'achievements'
she told me not to get loan
she'll use my life savings to get me through
i was like wtf
why?! we can get loan...
using her lifetime saving is like saying
'i'm betting my everything on you son'
i can feel a tremendous pressure on my shoulders
haihz... that is what you get when u fail a major exam
no more fun,careless high school times...
life's a bitch~

STPM part 2

in about 15 minutes we're there...
sitting down talking to wai hung and the others
about how scary we felt
and how we wish our result was
after a very long speech (argh~)
we started to line up to get our result
i gotta admit at that time i felt really nervous but a little happy
when i got the envelope ying see snatch it from me
wanting to know how did i do
don feel like opening it but i knew i had to
so in the end i went to the corner with wai hung and opened it
the result left me motionless
i don't know how to respond
all i know is i don't wanna stay there any longer
went to my car,started the engine
and tears started to flow out
sad is not even close enough to describe how i felt
called mummy, cried even more when heard her voice
must be disappointing
so i suck it up and drove home,withour chi han this time
cos i know i was not stable

and true enough i don't remember the journey home
the only thing i remember was a silver Audi A4(the new one)
and the urge to steer towards it... ramming it hard
then i remembered.. i'm driving my dad's mini...

finally reached home...saw my mom... said sorry...
and more crying..
the whole day was a blur...
and the day after that i felt like i lost something
like i don't want to do anything else... i felt lost
and the best part is my dad's coming back from work that day
not knowing what to expect.. i was once again scared...

dad came back around 8p.m
he didn't say anything... he just smiled at me and said it's ok
tears rolled down again... i wasn't expecting this
i'm sure they expect me to be a Uni student
dad ask me to check out the local college
see which course i want to take
i made a silent vow..
i'm gonna do it right this time

STPM part 1

After knowing that the STPM result is coming out on the 25th Feb
i cant sleep well for that few nights
on the night before,it's even worst...
i was so scared and nervous that i had a fever
so i took off from work early and went home...
the whole journey home was a torture
the whole train was packed with ppl with stinky armpit
showing their 'amazon forest'
fuck!
assholes kept pushing and pushing
and i felt like i'm gonna throw up anytime

after some 45 minutes i'm finally out of that place
fever getting worst so i went to the doctor after dinner
came home,eat medicine and tatz it 4 the night

the next morning i was planning to wake up later
but i couldn't fall asleep after that
so i gave up and tidied my bed
went down for breakfast....
2 pieces of bread was all i can handle..
and more and i swear i'll puke

getting nervous as i watch the clock...
12 o'clock the result coming out (according to wai yuen)
it's only 9...
so i decided to wash my mini~!!
to get my mind off
wash wash wash
b4 i knew it it's 11-ish
so i went upstairs,cleaned up and off i go
first stop i need to fetch chi han
then off we go
along the journey we were saying how nervous we are
and he was like 'why r u driving so fast?! cannot wait is it?'
i was so nervous that i can't let go of the gas paddle

The Lost Of a Legend

26th June 2009
it is a sad day for all as it is the death of Michael Jackson
The King of Pop....
it is truly a lost to the world
but his songs will last forever
deep within our hearts
RIP King of Pop

Thursday

sadness and frustration filled my heart
yet another quarrel between my parents
but this time it is not the same quarrel as last time
it is not a quarrel that can be settled over dinner
with a bunch of jokes
no... this time it's something different
this time it's a cold war between two person
both refusing to talk to each other
leaving my sister and i to send their message
it doesn't feel nice
i wonder when will it end...
returning to the old joking family
haihz... no mood ald...

Sunday

YEAR
2009
it's here already....
school's gonna reopen tomorrow...
it's gonna be a very busy year
damn it...
it's all gonna be study,tuition and more study and then more tuition...
hope that this year i will be more serious towards my studies...
cos STPM this year...
study for one and a half year already...
if i didn't get a good result....
then i'll be wasting my time all this time...
but i hope that this year will be better than last year....
cos there's quite a lot of unhappy stuff happened last year
looking back now...
i think we all have grown a lot
learned a lot
experience a lot
i guess that's life...
we learn, experience and then...
WE GROW...

Monday (night)

This Evening i found out that Amelia's dad
was admitted to the hospital cos of heart attack...
i do not know the whole story and i need not to know...
For it is not important to know of the cause
but to hope for the result...
and i sincerely hope that he will be ok..
and will be able to get back on his feet soon
so that Amelia and her family won't need to worry
cos i know i'll be very scared and worried
if anyone of my family members get admitted into hospital

To God,
i may not be a faithful believer
and that i may be praying for your help only when i'm in need
but please hear me out when i pray...
for Amelia Ho's dad to be healthy...
and just in case your reading this...
please bless my family member and all my loved ones
a healthy life...
especially my grandpa...

P.s : God... i hope you read blogs... i know mine sucks but please... hear me out...
cos that is my deepest wish... especially the part about Amelia's dad cos he needs it the most at the moment...

Monday

I like taking photo of the sky....
every movement.. every colour of the sky....
they seem to have a title... a theme...
i like looking at them...
it lets my imagination runs wild...
tis is one of my recent photo that i took on my trip to europe
i love this

it is as if... the light is struggling to come out...
jut like life...
sometimes there's the dark part in life where we suffer failure
but this photo reminds me of the struggle
the struggle of us... from the dark times....
it signifies hope...
anyway... it's just my thought...
tell me what do u think....

Thursday

it's christmas~!!!
so happy when i woke up this morning...
the first thing came to my mind was
the scene of snow back when i'm at europe...
so cool wei~
if only i stayed there until christmas...
it would be so cool
white christmas y'all!!!

imagine this when u woke up early in the morning....

so cool~~

just like last year and the year before...
christmas wasn't anything so special
cos my family isn't much of a christmas people
i mean my parents never really celebrated christmas
so every year my siter and i would wake up in the morning
hoping that there'll be nice tv programs
sometimes i hope i can do something on christmas
it sucks in a way
to stay at home on christmas
moreover my dad has to go overseas on this very day
so much for family holiday~

anyway... merry christmas to all~!!!

Thursday

This is the day...
i'm going Europe tonight~!!!
yes~!!!!
i'm all ready for the big trip
wahaha... so nervous...
cant wait....
going to sit 13 hours of flight...
damn long wei~
anyway.. here's some photos of my stuff


my suitcase... haha... a lot of stuff... nearly can't close it...



my food~!!! juz in case i felt hungry in the middle of the night...


IKO IKO~!!!! IKO ROCKZ~!!!!!


Mamee~!!!! the perfect snack when your hungry~!!!


my 'winter gear'... to protect me from the cold weather


the yellow jacket which will be keeping me warm~~

Tuesday

This song is sooo nice... so meaningful....
reminds me of boon seng...
i'll always remember u my man...

Stand Up To Cancer - Just Stand Up

Beyonce:
The heart is stronger
Than you think
It's like it can go
Through anything
And even when you think
It can't it finds a way
To still push on
Though

Carrie Underwood:
Sometimes
You want to run away
Ain't got the patience
For the pain
And if you
Don't believe it
Look into
Your heart
The beat goes on

Rihanna:
I'm tellin' you

Miley Cyrus:
Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna:
If you fall

Miley Cyrus:
Dust it off
Don't let up

Sheryl Crow:
Don't you know
You can go
Be your own miracle

Beyonce:
You need to know...

Chorus (Sheryl Crow):
If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up

Sheryl Crow/Beyoncé:
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Fergie:
It's like
We all have better days
Problems getting all up
In your face

Leona Lewis:
Just because
You go through it

Fergie:
Don't mean it got
To take control, no

Leona Lewis:
You ain't gotta find
No hiding place

Keyshia Cole:
Because the heart
Can beat the hate

Leona Lewis:
Don't wanna
Let your mind
Keep playin' you

Keyshia Cole:
And sayin' you
Can't go on

Rihanna:
I'm tellin' you

Miley Cyrus:
Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna:
If you fall

Miley Cyrus:
Dust if off
Don't let up

LeAnn Rimes:
Don't you know you

Natasha Bedingfield:
Can go

LeAnn Rimes:
Be your own

Natasha Bedingfield:
Miracle

Carrie Underwood:
You need to know

[Chorus-All]
If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Mary J. Blige:
You don't gotta be
A prisoner
In your mind

Ciara:
If you fall
Dust it off

Mary J. Blige:
You can live your life

Rihanna/Carrie Underwood:
Yeah

Mary J. Blige:
Let your heart
Be your guide

Rihanna/Carrie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Mariah Carey:
And you will know
That you're good
If you trust in the good

Ashanti:
Everything
Will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark
If you follow your heart

Mary J. Blige:
And it will get better

Mariah Carey:
Through whatever

[Chorus-All]
If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Fergie:
You got it in you
Find it within
You got in ya
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
You got in ya
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
Find it within you
Find it within

Through It All, Just Stand Up!

Saturday

first i would like to wish lee yen
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY!!!!
You've grown older by a year again~!!!!
haha~

today was the first day of my form 6 holiday
a one and a half month hliday
yeah~~
went for our L6FM's class party
except it's not in class
instead we went timesquare to celebrate
we were suppose to meet up at 1.00
but thiru,hari and hock leong came late
thiru came at around 1.30
then hock leong came at around 2.30...
juz when we finished eating our lunch
hari came after we decided to pay our bill..
swt...
we then went to queue for movie tickets
sam kept saying she wants to watch Madagascar 2
but none of us wants to watch
so we choose the coffin instead
i'm not a fan of horror movie so i declined
they ended up watching the 5.45 movie instead of 3.45
cos wanted to teman me
felt so guilty la....
hang around... saw lee yen and her friends...
i must say~ one of lee yen's friend is kinda pretty
tall...but pretty... haha
i saw fu sing with two girl too
he was so shocked...
as if he doesn't want anyone to know

hung around the arcade
played one round of throwing basketball and one round of racing car
cost me to bucks...
damn~ what a way to waste money
after arcade we went to mcd to sit and talk crap
hock leong was re-filling the cup like crazy
then it's almost time 4 them to get into the cinema
so i make my leave too...

kinda tiring... tot can rest when reach home
but instead i had to go out 4 dinner with family
and then went shopping with mom..
until around 8.30...
ok... i'm gonna KO ald... that's all for now

Friday

today was the last day of my lower sixth form life...
starting from next year it's gonna be a tough year..
cos it'll be upper sixth... which means by the end of next year there's gonna be STPM...

ish.... so fast another major exam... shit la...
life is like full of these exams...
not happy with it at all... not one bit...
what to do... life goes on...

wake up at 6.00 as usual got ready, had light breakfast
and ready to go by 6.35...
stupid lrt... so slow today.. was late to school but who cares...
no people jaga also...
went the the lecture hall to meet up the guys
cos the form6 block is being quarantined for STPM...
morning morning already felt boring
so yip,hari,thiru and i started playing tai di...
haihz...budak-budak zaman sekarang...morning morning playing cards..

the quick game which we thought will end quick as there'll be physic class
turned out the opposite...
we played it the whole day... -_-"
cos teacher was busy doing some report card thingy for the lower forms
so we played until school ends...

after school... i went for lunch with thiru and the gang
while chi han stayed back at school doing god knows what
eat,talk and the walk around until it's time 4 tuition
meet up with chi han...teman him eat..
then went kolej bandar and meet up with wei han...
just when i thought i wont see her in that time session...
she came in... i don't know what to do expect act busy
started the lesson as usual
but felt uncomfortable as she sat a row behind me...

managed to ignore her 4 most of the lessons...
then quickly rush out of the room and off to the lift
so that i can avoid the embarrassment
but unfortunately her friends and her caught up
the worst was we were in the same lift...
gosh... it felt like forever
so after the lift opened, we rushed out...

and walked quickly towards the nearest lrt station...
hoping that the train will come before they catch up
but unfortunately AGAIN... the train seem to come after they reach the station
and it stopped at the same spot as me and her
ish!! we had to go into the same box...
i tried to act nothing throughout the journey
it was hard... really hard...
and the journey felt long...
gosh... it's been a rather tiring day....
trying to avoid her... but in the end failed....
damn it!!!